Sometimes you just can’t hold it in. In those moments, it’s best to just fart as unobtrusively as possible and move on with whatever you were doing before. That’s what this Alabama weatherman tried, but as you can see/hear/clearly tell, he didn’t exactly pull off the “unobtrusively” part.
The weatherman in question is chief meteorologist Chris Dunn of NBC affiliate Local 15 out of Mobile, Alabama. According to the station’s website, Dunn is an “Emmy Award winning broadcaster with 25 years of on-air experience.” So maybe he’s just gotten a little too comfortable on-air.
Clearly someone has added a few effects to this video, so you might be wondering if maybe they also added in that squeaky fart. Perhaps it was a rival weatherman, who was nominated for an Emmy but lost to Dunn? It is, even for a fart, a pretty hilarious sound. Can it truly be believed?
Well, unfortunately for the meteorologist, someone else with a DVR was able to record the segment and unless Dunn stepped on a duck when he backed up, it seems pretty clear he let one rip in the studio.
With 25 years of experience and an Emmy under his belt, it seems like one tiny (in fact kind of adorable) fart isn’t going to affect this weatherman’s job, even if he did contribute to the methane problem that is causing climate change.
As we shed some tears and bid a bittersweet farewell to this amazing summer, we begin to lose our hearts to fall. The inevitable summer breakup happens every single year, but who can blame us? There’s something so alluring and magical about back-to-school season that instantly hooks us. Many of us are gearing up to move back to campus, embrace our school spirit at football games, and finally be reunited with our college squad. And if you’re in a sorority, the summer couldn’t go by quick enough for you to see all of your sisters once again. To celebrate the upcoming season with your sorority girls, there are a ton of fun sisterhood retreat ideas you can plan to have an unforgettable time with your mains.
Planning a fall retreat with your girlfriends is necessary to strengthening your bond. And obviously, you cannot forget the swag. Whether you spend an evening decorating tank tops with glitter paint and decals, or dish out some cash for bedazzled baseball caps, sorority swag is essential to any sisterhood retreat. Here are six cheap and awesome retreat ideas that will forever bond you and your besties.
1. Head To Camp For Sisterhood Bonding Activities
We had such an amazing time at retreat! Thank you so much to our awesome sisterhood officer Katie for planning such a fun adventure pic.twitter.com/bb5JpLcDdQ
Jam pack your weekend with fun team-bonding activities and games. Hit the canoes and paddle boards by day, and snuggle up around the campfire by night. Don’t forget the marshmallows, and you’ll undoubtedly share a ton of laughs with your main squeezes.
Heading to a yoga retreat on an exquisite beach or in the mountains where you can embrace the beautiful foliage is a great way to get in touch with your inner self. Focusing the body and mind in meditation practices and yoga routines creates a beautiful journey to enjoy with your best girl pals by your side. This weekend will surely be a relaxing treat away from your hectic college schedule.
3. Have A Pumpkin Spice And Everything Nice-Themed Party
There’s nothing like planning a pumpkin-themed party to get into the seasonal spirit, am I right? Whether you rent out a house close to campus or hold the party in your backyard, you can play fun seasonal games and have a great time bonding over making delicious pumpkin spice treats. Don’t forget to set up a photo booth with cool props, of course.
Dude ranches are so much fun, and what better place to plan a trip to than with your sorority girlfriends? From horseback riding and rock climbing, to karaoke and line dancing, this will be the ultimate retreat for lots of laughs and good times. Bring your flannel shirts and cowgirl hats, and really get into the mood to have fun with your closest sisters.
Few activities compare to doing something really special for other people or animals in need. Whether it’s a homeless shelter, soup kitchen, animal shelter, or food pantry, it will feel so rewarding giving back to your community with people you love. Do some research, and book up your weekend with volunteer work. Everybody wins.
Need I say more? Massages, facials, saunas, manicures, pedicures, and delicious food await. Spend an entire weekend pampering yourselves in a plush bathrobe and slippers. Now that’s relaxation at its finest.
Even on the days when you are tired and worn, when you can barely lift your head from the pillow, when you roll over, a groan escaping your lips. Even on the mornings when you curse the bathroom mirror, when you shrug on your clothes in the dark, when you brew your morning coffee and sip it slowly with the lights off. Still, I will choose you.
I will rise from bed and cross that kitchen floor. I will wrap my arms around your tired body and lean my forehead against your chest. I will breathe deeply and slowly, praying for you, willing all my love to follow you wherever you go.
I will choose you, even when a smile is far from your face, even when you are angry and bitter. Still, I will smile, and kiss your cheek and tell you I love you. Still, I will go back to sleep, even just for an hour, dreaming of your hand in mine. Still, I will choose you.
Even on the days when you do not choose yourself, on the nights when your hair is a mess and your posture is slumped. Even when you smell like stale beer, or complain far too much, or scream at the t.v., or tell me that you just want to be alone. Still, I will choose you.
I will let you have your space and take mine willingly. I will care about you, near and far, and support you in whatever way I can. I will use my words, my heart to build you up when you are broken. I will never let you fight alone.
I will choose you, even when you do not think you’re capable of being the man I know you are. When you doubt, still I will stand beside you, encouraging and fighting and believing. Still, I will love you, even on your darkest days. Still, I will choose you.
Even when we don’t agree, even when our voices raise, even when we argue and I want, so desperately, to run. Even on the nights I pull away from you, scoot closer to the opposite side of the bed, cross my arms and withhold forgiveness, even though I know that’s not right. Still, I will choose you.
I will love you, no matter the anger I feel. I will care, even if my heart seems far away. Though it might take time with my stubbornness, I will eventually roll back to your side of the pillow, curl myself up in your arms.
I will choose you, even when you make me mad. My love for you won’t fade simply because we are angry. I know we will fight, we will be frustrated, we will be human. Still, I will go to battle for you. Still, I will choose you.
On the best days, on the worst nights. In the instances we almost forget how beautiful our connection is. Even when there are other options, even when opportunities knock on my door, even when I feel an inkling to leave and find myself with someone else. Still, I will choose you.
I will keep our bonds, our promises. I will remind myself of the good, even if we’re lost in the bad. I will reach for you when you feel far away. I will speak, and not let my emotions go unsaid.
I will choose you, even in the doubt. Even in the moments we both hesitate, wondering whether this is love. I will accept that we are flawed and imperfect, and still I will love you anyway. No matter what this world throws at us, you will forever be mine. Still, I will choose you.
1. Identify how your pain serves you. Nobody consistently self-sabotages without reason. The patterns and habits that you feel “stuck” in meet some kind of need. If you can’t let go of negativity, it’s because you are secretly using it for something.
2. Work on your ability to visualize. The only way to change your life is to first imagine what the opposite of your pain is. Until you are consciously creating your life, you will be living on the same autopilot that you are right now… and over time, you will begin to think it’s who you really are.
3. Stop believing everything that you feel is real. Experience should have shown you right now that your feelings are not representative of what’s happening in reality, rather, they are a tool for you to see the quality of your thoughts about reality. Use this to your advantage, not your detriment.
4. Be honest about what you really love vs. what you love the idea of. Nobody intentionally chooses a life they don’t really want; they simply confuse what makes them feel good for what the idea of something makes them feel.
5. Do not say anything about yourself that you do not want to be true. “I am” is the most powerful prayer in the universe.
6. Stop judging, criticizing and seeking out fault with people who have the things you want. Doing so is making you associate having those things with being unloved.
7. Stop trying to make things perfect more than you try to find what’s already perfect about the life you have.
8. Find what makes you “flow.” Flow = health, where as stiffness or hardness = death. Do anything that makes your oxygen, blood, thoughts or feelings move again.
9. Memory surf. Trace your feelings back to their source. Figure out what scared you and why you’ve continued to live as though that scary thing is constantly threatening you.
10. Figure out what’s on the other side of your fear. Whatever upsets you most is actually a sign of what you care about most.
11. Figure out what’s on the other side of your pain. Often, the things that we struggle with most are actually our deepest gifts in disguise. Many people who write self-help books begin them by explaining how badly they struggled with their emotions, and then how in the process of learning to deal with them better, they discovered their life purpose.
12. Clean out your space. Your belongings hold as much energetic imprints as anything else. Clutter blocks flow in your space. Some people even say that when there is a disruption or stressor in your life, there is often a corresponding mess in your home.
13. State what’s wrong. “Feelings, once felt, will start to change themselves.”
14. Remember that most of what you fear is an illusion that your subconscious has designed to hold you back and keep you “safe.”
15. Surround yourself with people who you aspire to be like. Their influence will impact you more than you realize.
16. Stop spending so much time scrolling, reading and engaging with things that make you a smaller, more angered, judgmental, scared version of yourself.
17. Follow, read and regularly engage with people and content that inspires you to be your best, most loving and creative self.
18. Get a junk journal, and use it to write down all of your racing, scary feelings. Burn it or throw out each page after you get out whatever you need to.
19. Disrupt your patterns. You cannot build a new life while standing in the ruins of your old one.
20. Give your feelings colors and descriptions. Welcome them into your body when you feel them and then ask them what they are here to tell you. Write the answer down, and then close the journal. Go back when the feeling passes, and decide if the message is one of fear, or one of love.
21. Stop trying to find your happiness – find what’s your happiness. Joy is your natural state.
22. Do yoga, even if all you can manage are a few poses, or just lay in child’s pose for 15 minutes. Go for a walk, even if it’s just around the block. Drink water, even if it’s only one glass. Do not underestimate the power of small actions, and how they will build over time.
23. Make a playlist that makes you feel nostalgic or sad or inspired. Clean the kitchen. Eat something cheap and delicious for dinner. Do anything that grounds you and reminds you that life is both simple, and to be enjoyed.
24. Give yourself credit. You are doing so much better than you think you are. You are so much more accomplished than you know. Make a list of everything you have now that you didn’t have before. Realizing what you’ve done and what you’re still capable of is the greatest motivation there is.
25. Imagine the exact life you want, down to the detail. Imagine who you are when you are your best self. That is who you really are, and that is the life that you’re meant to create. Do not let any thoughts, fears, or other people tell you otherwise.
Before he became the inciting incident in the post-apocalyptic thriller that is our age, Donald Trump spent most of his life cultivating the image of a disgustingly wealthy businessman and cameo-worthy celebrity. He was the rich bully of his time, inspiring many movies and TV shows to feature barely fictionalized versions of him as villainous characters meant to symbolize the greed and cynicism of 1980s capitalism. Interestingly, none of the following examples ever went so far as to imagine a future in which this character would become president.
A Trumpian New York City Developer Starts A Hate Campaign Against The Ninja Turtles
It was only a matter of time before the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles squared off against the most quintessential of all New York City foes: rising property values.
In the fourth season of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles show, the Turtles are beleaguered by real estate magnate and rotund blowhard Fenton Q. Hackenbrush, who runs the not so subtly named Donald J. Lofty Enterprises. Hackenbrush wants to demolish the sewers completely and turn them into Donald J. Lofty luxury condos. For that, he needs the Turtles to disappear. (If Hackenbrush is anything like the real Trump, he probably thinks the Turtles are the wrong color to live in one of his buildings.)
In an interview with April O’Neil, Hackenbrush sells his greedy plans to the public on the basis that his sewer reconstruction will “flush out the worst menace in the city: the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” Of course, the people of New York don’t have any problems with the Turtles, so Hackenbrush forces a group of employees to dress up in those bad Turtle Halloween costumes we all used to wear and go commit crimes.
Then an evil turtle named Slash arrives in the city, and Hackenbrush immediately mocks him as “some kind of foreigner,” but then bribes him into sowing mayhem, fanning the flames of turtle racism.
Hackenbrush is eventually exposed by some ace reporting by O’Neil (New York Times, pay attention). As punishment, he is loudly fired by the actual owner of the company, Mr. Lofty — who looks surprisingly a lot like Fred Trump, Donald’s father. We’re not saying TMNT intentionally created a world in which Fred Trump would repeatedly yell “You’re fired” at his heir, but that’s immediately the best Trump origin story we’ve ever heard.
The Devil’s Advocate Features A Rich Murderer Who Owns Trump Tower
In The Devil’s Advocate, Al Pacino is the titular Devil (not a spoiler; you don’t cast Pacino in a movie about Satan and make him the lovable dad), who has set up a law firm in New York in order to subvert justice and release evil into society. And who is Satan’s favorite client? The guy who lives atop Trump Tower.
Though it is slightly inaccurate, since he never claims to have the best murders ever, just fantastic.
Alexander Cullen, played by a suitably balding Craig T. Nelson, is a Trump-esque real estate mogul accused of murdering his wife, stepson, and maid — dire straits for a guy based on someone who once bragged he could shoot a person in the middle of the street and get away with it. His arrest immediately prompts Pacino’s law firm of Fire, Brimstone & Ham to send their new ace attorney, Kevin Lomax (Keanu Reeves wearing his dad’s suit), to defend Cullen. Why? Because, oddly, he’s Lucifer’s best client, having racked up “16,242” billable hours in one year. That’s a lot of shady business.
Warner Bros. Pictures 1.85 years of shady business, to be exact.
But being a hated New York business tycoon and employing a massive team of evil lawyers doesn’t necessarily mean Cullen is a Trump clone, right? Luckily, for the sake of subtlety, when we finally arrive at Cullen’s home, we see that it’s literally Trump’s apartment in Trump Tower. The filmmakers managed to rent it out, preserving its natural appearance as Liberace’s mind palace.
Warner Bros. Pictures
Warner Bros. Pictures “Try not to touch anything — you’ll get metal poisoning.”
In the end, Cullen is found not guilty, despite Lomax knowing that he murdered those people, thereby finally giving in to his true nature as the son of Satan. That’s right, the Devil’s son loses his innocence by defending Trump. Burn.
A Sci-Fi TV Show Villain Morphs Into Donald Trump … Played By Donald Trump
Night Man was a late ’90s low-budget TV show based on the Malibu Comics series about a San Franciscan saxophone player who can sense evil and wears a laser eye. Despite that, it somehow managed to run for two seasons, possibly because of its reliance on magnificently bizarre cameos — none of which were more utterly mystifying than Donald J. Trump in technically the only real acting credit to his name.
In this episode, Night Man is chasing a face-changing villain called Face to Face, who decides to engage in some quick identity theft to make a large withdrawal from the bank. Who better to transform into than the self-proclaimed richest man in the universe, Donald Trump? (No really, please suggest someone better.) In one of the most perfect sequences in the history of the medium, Face to Face slowly morphs into The Donald, dazzling audiences with peak mid ’90s CGI while simultaneously reinforcing the idea that Trumps looks like a melting Claire Danes.
Donald Trump — remember, this is the real Donald Trump playing a man who has shapeshifted into Donald Trump — walks into a delightfully green-screened bank, and then sits down with the bank manager to illegally withdraw $10,000. Sadly, the nuanced layers of a real man pretending to be a fake man pretending to be him do not translate to Trump’s performance:
Could they not find a real bank that would allow Trump to walk in?
Weirdly, in his utter boredom and bad acting, something spectacular happens: Trump seems … nice. He’s subdued, polite, even charming. It seems that all you need to do to make Trump likable is carefully control what he says and make sure he’s not physically in the same room with any human beings.
A Disney Show Paired Donald Trump With A Dead Pirate
Before Disney found a way to become rich off Johnny Depp wearing a lot of eyeliner, it first got its pirate feet wet with The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage, a lighthearted romp wherein the undead spirit of a mass murderer teams up with a fictional Donald Trump analogue to save both of their souls from burning forever in hell.
Luckily, Disney would never reuse “Jack Savage,” or his ship the Black Bird, or anything like it ever again.
When Daniel Tarberry, a rich real estate mogul from New York, has to flee the country because of legal troubles, he buys a luxurious Caribbean mansion to lie low in, but doing so summons the ghost of Black Jack Savage, who was hanged on the island for his crimes. The two are now forced to save the lives of 100 people in order to save themselves from eternal damnation.
Tarberry is a greedy shark who insists on hanging a portrait of himself in every hotel room he owns and constantly tries to weasel out of paying his contractors a dime. He’s not very respectful to women, referring to every lady who talks back to him as “the poster girl for PMS.” He’s also a straight up racist, first assuming Black Jack is his cabin boy, then loudly exclaiming that he wants to change all the locks because he “found a black man in my kitchen.”
The writers had intended to start Tarberry off as a real piece of Trump, only to eventually learn from his mistakes and become a better man. He even occasionally refrains from treating Black Jack like some weird Jim Crow genie.
But the show never got to the redemption part, as the network pulled it after only seven poorly rated episodes. Believing that people are interested in seeing a Trump redemption story might have been the most misjudged part of The 100 Lives Of Black Jack Savage — a Disney show that opens with a black man being lynched.
Gremlins 2 Had Trump Fight Gremlins
Nobody really expected Gremlins to get a sequel, especially not its creators. And when it did, no one could have predicted that the real villain wouldn’t be gremlins, but the world’s most notorious New York City mogul.
Director Joe Dante wanted to have the Gremlins run amok in a fancy New York skyscraper. But the movie still needed a villain, a rich guy so obnoxious that audiences wouldn’t feel bad about watching midnight demons tear him several new assholes. And then it hit Dante: “At that time in New York City, there was one major character who was Mr. Billion.”
At the time, Trump was known for being “overbearing and obviously kind of goofy,” said the film’s writer, Charles S. Haas. “He was an emblem of what was going on in the ’80s and ’90s with greed and money and crassness, and [the idea of] the whole world being for sale.” And so they created powerful millionaire Daniel Clamp, a Trumpian mogul (with a dash of Ted Turner) who also happens to be running violent animal experiments in his tower Clamp Center.
Actor John Glover modeled his performance of Clamp on the director, whom he saw as “incredibly gentle, supporting and encouraging,” rather than on Trump, which is why Clamp can say weirdly racist nonsense like “Let’s lose the elm trees. People see elm, they think Dutch. [pause] Disease” and still sound like a swell boss. It’s also why we unreservedly root for Clamp when he shoves a Gremlin into a paper shredder.
And also because he seems to be the only one who realizes gremlins aren’t that difficult to kill.
Consequently, Gremlins 2: The New Batch offers a peek at an alternate universe in which Nice Trump helps us fight small-minded rage goblins, as opposed to the universe we live in, where those goblins got him elected president.
Sesame Street Thinks Donald Trump Is Garbage
Over its nearly 50-year history, Sesame Street has striven to be not just entertainment, but also a tool to teach children. And many times over, it has tried to teach them that Donald Trump is the king of the trash people.
The first time we encounter Sesame‘s Trump is in ’88, as a grouch named Ronald Grump. Grump is trying to con fellow grouch Oscar into letting him build a three-trash-can-high Grump Tower on his spot in return for a “duplex can-dominium.” Oscar simply adores Grump at first, because he exemplifies grouch values, as “his name is on every piece of trash in town.” Grump is also grouch-famous for building “a swamp in a day,” a line so apt that the Sesame Street writers should get a retroactive Emmy for it.
“What about dumpsters?”
However, Grump immediately tries to evict Oscar for keeping pets in his fantastic, just the best tower. This forces all the Sesame Street residents to band together to buy Grump off with their garbage, making the first lesson most American kids learned about Donald Trump was that they need to pay him to go away before he ruins everything.
Donald Grump returns during the show’s 2005 parody of The Apprentice, in which lesser grouches are fighting for the privilege to assist Grump in peddling his trash all across town. After a series of pointless tasks, Elmo, whose hard work and positive attitude wins the day, immediately gets fired by Grump, who exclaims, “I can’t have a good helper! I got my reputation to think of.”
However, the Trump animosity really boiled over during the Street‘s 25th anniversary show in 1993. The entire special episode revolves around the residents of Sesame Street fighting Grump (this time expertly portrayed by human forehead vein Joe Pesci), who’s trying to convert the entire block into a garish Grump Tower. At first he sweetly attempts to convince them that having their street become an overpriced boutique is a good thing. But when the residents don’t agree, Grump starts threatening Muppets like they’re in Goodfellas.
Fortunately, Grump’s plans fall apart because Oscar and his trash heap (which are on city property) keep Grump from selling a single condo. Furious, he rips up his plans and screams that Sesame Street didn’t deserve a Grump Tower anyway. So that’s charm, bully, and now abandonment. If the show had ended with Grump taking Oscar to court for loss of potential revenue, Sesame Street would have achieved the quadfecta of the Trump negotiation style long before Nancy Pelosi coined it.
Since he became president, Trump has not been shy about his desire to gut PBS, the public station that was home to Sesame Street until 2016. We can’t help but think that Ronald Grump has something to do with that.
Cedric will never stop politicizing Muppets. The best way to boycott his leftist agenda is by following him on Twitter but then never interacting with him in any shape or form. That’ll show him.
Why should you have to deal with the Trump presidency alone? Make your cats miserable too with this Donald Trump cat costume.
If you loved this article and want more like it, please support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page.
Walmart is now offering to stock your fridge for you—even if you’re not home.
The big-box giant is teaming with a smart lock startup called August Home to test a service in which workers would use a temporary door code to deliver groceries straight to your kitchen.
“Think about that—someone else does the shopping for you AND puts it all away,” Walmart vp Sloan Eddleston wrote in a blog post announcing the test. “This may not be for everyone–and certainly not right away–but we want to offer customers the opportunity to participate in tests.”
The deliveries will be monitored by security cameras provided by the startup, and customers will have the option of watching the process in real-time via an app. The couriers—contracted through the startup Deliv—will only let themselves in if no one answers August Home’s smart doorbell, which triggers a smartphone notification when pressed.
The trial is currently limited to a small group of August Home customers in Silicon Valley.
Walmart’s been doubling down on sometimes-quirky experiments like these as it looks for new ways to challenge Amazon’s dominance of the online shopping market. The online grocery market has been one of the most cutthroat fronts of that battle, especially since Amazon took over Whole Foods in a blockbuster deal this summer.
Some of its other tests include a service in which its employees drop off online orders on their way home from work, a giant grocery vending machine in the parking lot of some stores, and drive-thru store pick-up. It also announced this week that it will begin accepting food stamps for online grocery orders for the first time.
Despite its vast potential, online grocery still only makes up about one percent of the total market, and surveys show most Americans still aren’t very comfortable with online grocery shopping altogether. So if the idea of delivery people shuffling through people’s kitchens does catch on, it probably won’t be anytime soon.